Monday, August 17, 2009

Mailbag

My mom commented to me that I didn’t put enough in my last post about going up to Sherwood for the weekend and what a great time we had with Grandma and Grandpa. And while we did have fun up there, this blog is more than just a family blog. The tentacles of it reach far around the world, with millions of subscribers and followers logging on every day to check the New From Da Crib. So while I like to keep the listeners up on what little one and the rest of our family is doing, I also need to “keep it real” for the rest – more fact based on fiction than anything, as long as it elicits a laugh.

Just to prove the international flavor of the blog, let me share with you some letters and e-mails that I’ve received with questions about parenthood.

Mr. The Skeet,

Everyone likes to come up to me and pretend that they are talking to me through my 6 month old child in a little babies voice. “Daddy, my feet are cold, put some socks on me!” “Daddy, I got a stinky diaper, change me.” Why what is the proper way to deal with the questions?

Thanks
Steve S.
Lincoln NE


Mr. Steve,

Thanks for your question! I’m glad to see you’re intelligent enough to know that a 6 month old doesn’t talk that well. It’s too bad that nobody has ever invented a sock that stays on a baby for more than 3 minutes. Give a smile, put the socks back on and wait 3 minutes for them to come off again. In the case of the diaper, you know that’s just the warning poop. The real one is coming in 45 seconds, offer them the opportunity to change them sometime before that second round comes.

Skeet,

Sometimes I get backed up on housework and I put my child in a bouncy chair or swing for a half hour or so, so that I can get some vacuuming done or some bottles washed. I’ve read many expert opinions that having your baby watch TV can lead to developmental problems and they won’t read before the get to kindergarten. What’s your thoughts on this?

Thanks
Shawna K,
Louisville KY


Shawna,

Thanks for your question! Would you rather your child crawl around on a filthy floor and eat from milk crusted bottles? Their course in life isn’t going to be determined by whether they can read “See Spot Run” in 1st grade as opposed to when they are 4 years old. I couldn’t read until my 3rd year of 1st grade. The 1/2 hour they stare at the scrolling screen for isn't going to scar them for life. Clean the place up and move on.

Sehr geehrter Herr,

Ich habe einen quesions auf dem Erziehen meines Kindes in einer Gesellschaft, die mehr globalized ist als jemals vorher.

Danke
Hans M.
Hamburg Deutschland


Dear Hans.

I failed German 1 and 2 in college. Thanks for playing.

Sincerely
Skeet

Skeetertini,

When are you going to marry Katie?

“Kathy”
Colorado


Dear “Kathy”,

Nice try Kaylan. When the time is right. Thanks for playing as well.

Skeet
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So as you can see, this blog reaches much further than the borders of Bismarck ND. Check back occasionally I will answer more questions from the mailbag. So stay tuned for that.

One other note, my dad sent me an e-mail to inform me that they have new neighbors across the street and they are VERY excited. Looks like there’s 5 of them that came in this shipment, along with 2 dogs. In case you’re counting that brings the dog total in the neighborhood to 19. Word on the street is that they have almost a full set of teeth between them.

The other neighbor fell out of his shooting chair passed out the other day from COPD as he calls it. COPD must stand for “Cans Of Pabst Draft”. Evidently he coughs so much that he cuts off the oxygen to his brain and passes out. Oxygen deprived brain...... this explains a lot!

Here’s a pic of the RV the new neighbors roll in and one of them out on the street the other day. And yes, someone painted that house purple. Must have been a sale on "Ugly Purple" at Menards the day they went shopping.

5 comments:

Brittany Miller said...

Scott- I'd give the house color a dark blue, not purple. :)

Natalie Beatrice Olson said...

I think it must be a rule that all white trash families must own at least one dog that is too big to be kept inside. Also, there is no reason to feed that dog or give it space to run.

Greg said...

I think it is actually 2 people and 5 dogs. I don't know if that is worse or better.

I think they should make some sort of test that you have to take to move into Sherwood. And then have Ward Luchsinger take the same test. Anyone who doesn't do better than Ward can't move in. We might have to grandfather in Andrew and Davie Cloutier. That should keep out the riff-raff.

skeet said...

Dark blue, purple..... either way it's not good!

skeet said...

It also begs the question. If you live in Sherwood you either:

A: Farm
B: Work for a farmer
C: Work at the hardware
D: Are retired

They don't own or work on farms, Timmy has the Hardware on lockdown and they're too young to be retired. What do they do for work??