The Snake Dance

Back in the day we used to do something at the football homecoming bonfire called the snake dance, where the high schoolers all joined hands and then ran down the streets of Sherwood and thru the businesses that were open. I think it was some kind of spirt/pep rally thing to get us ‘psyched’ for the football game on Friday and also gave us a chance to run thru the only 2 businesses that were open at that time of night. The Roughrider Saloon and the P&R Bar. I tried to explain the concept of the Snake Dance once to Katie, but she didn’t get it. I’m not sure I ever understood it either, but since I’m about 50 years older than her she doesn’t understand the concept of typewriters, rotary dial telephones or the US mail system either. Friends used to hate if your phone number was something like 990-0990 cuz it took forever for the dial to come back around and if you messed up you had to start the whole process again. Whatever. If it’s something that important you need to tell me, mail me a letter and I’ll get it in 2-3 working days……

Anyways, one of the things with buying a new, used house is that the previous owners often overlook things and live with it. Sometimes for decades. One of those ‘overlooked’ things at the condo was the drain system. Overlooked might be a kind term, forgotten or ignored might be better used in this sense. Someone needed to tell them that if Drano doesn’t work the first 7 times that more drastic measures were probably in order. Off to Lowes I go again to buy a drain snake!

Snaking drains is a bit of an art form and similar to the Fish Ponds at carnivals, throw the line in and hope you pull a good prize when it comes back – not the stupid Strawberry Shortcake temporary tattoo (it took me many years before I realized that the ‘bait’ for that game was a card that said boy or girl and that they were messing with me real bad).

I grossly underestimated the level of stink I would encounter the first go around although the fact that the plastic PVC pipe threads had literally fused together should have clued me in that it hadn’t been taken off in awhile or ever. Down the snake went though, hitting the bends in the pipes but still moving until a depth of about 12 feet, at which point I gave it a couple of twirls and started to drag whatever was on the end, up…….

Let me list a few of the things I would have rather smelled than what came out of that pipe.
1.) A rotting skunk carcass
2.) Raw sewage on a 110 degree day
3.) A rotting skunk carcass in raw sewage on a 110 degree day.

Needless to say the lid of the toilet went up just in case lunch needed to make a reappearance. It didn’t, but I did run down to stick my nose over Ashtyn’s week old diaper bin for some fresh air. I didn’t eat supper that night, or for the 12 hours for that matter and a new battle plan was in order. Gas masks, rubber gloves and if I could find it, that cream that homicide detectives rub under their noses before the go into a murder scene. Lowes didn’t carry that though. Too bad Engh’s Hardware in Sherwood isn’t closer cuz I bet Timmy could have found in row three between the Tupperware and the cattle prods.