Ralph Pukemore

The day that I’ve been waiting quite some time for came a couple days ago. Katie’s sister Kaylan came over to go for a walk with Katie and Ashtyn and it had been one of those odd days where she eats a lot, then eats a little and you’re never quite sure when she’s had enough.

As I was making something to eat and Kaylan was feeding her I could tell something was up from the questions she was asking Ashtyn – “Don’t you want you’re bottle?” “Now you want your bottle?” I wasn’t sure exactly much she’d had, but I could tell it was probably getting close to enough..

Do any of you remember the Bugs Bunny cartoon where the little gremlin tries to sabotage the bomber plane that Bugs is trying to fly? Then he starts taking a hammer to a live bomb? You knew something was coming, but didn’t even realize it.

That’s kind of how this was…….

We hate seeing Ashtyn throw up of course, but this is one of the deal breakers with Kaylan, she doesn’t want to babysit until she’s out of diapers, doesn’t throw up and is able to pick out Coach purses.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, Kaylan got a full dose of formula on her shirt and shorts. She may or may not have compounded the problem with her reaction to the situation and she may or may not be back to babysit her for quite some time again. Lessons learned: read the warning signs or bring an extra shirt to wear home Kaylan!!

Me and Ashtyn had a good laugh about it all later that night.

It's Daddy Day!!!

This year I got the best Fathers Day gift that I've ever received! Actually the first one that I've ever received as well. A new grill!!! Besides more room and storage space, it's the last thing that we needed and it's already been put to the test several times. I'm still trying to figure out the perfect settings, but the Ribeye I threw on yesterday may have been about the best I've ever grilled. I grabbed two of them from the Butcher Block so we'll se if I can better things when Katie and Ashtyn get back tonight. Speaking of which, I'm baching it this weekend since the two ladies of the house went back down to Herreid for some baby and wedding showers. Ashtyn's first that she's been to since the Miller one was before she was born. She's been on antibiotics for double ear infection for more days than she hasn't been on them since she was born and just went off them again on Thursday. I'll be interested to see if the Amoxycillin cleared it up this time, but we'll know by the fussy level whether it worked or not. The weekend before we were also down in Herreid to take in the Mound City 125th celebration and got to see alot of Katie's friends and classmates. Word to the wise, if you are ever traveling down Highway 83 into South Dakota, stop off at Bernies Bar and Beefstro in Mound City - some of the best steaks and salad bar you'll ever eat. Bernies is one of those Mom and Pop restuarants in a small town that looks unassuming until you get inside and then you'll thank yourself for stopping. It's about the only place left in the town and when and if Bernie ever retires from it, it'll be hard for the next owner to duplicate things. So, you're probably asking what I did with my weekend on my own? Slept. Not the whole time, but I have caught up on it a little. I also took the opportunity to do a little fly fishing. My buddy Matt took off on Friday to head out to Ennis MT and the Madison to fish and obviously I couldn't make it this year, but I wanted to at least fish a little. Of course he texted me to let me know they boated about 30 of them yesterday and my fishing trip...... not quite as succesful. The wind started picking up about the time I walked the float tube into the water and the weeds had grown up in the lake enough to make things tough for wet flies. Oh well, it was nice to get on the water for awhile anyways. I haven't posted too many pics of Ashtyn on the blog here, finally got a bunch downloaded though so here you go! Also a video that shows why I've nicknamed her "Kicking Bird".

Olaaaay, olay, olaay!!!

Lessons learned. Last night I told Katie to go get some sleep so I could pass Ashtyn off for her midnight feeding. At least she would get 3 hours or so of sleep in case little one decided to pull an all-nighter. We settled into the recliner about 9:00ish and started watching some TV and feeding a bottle.

After an hour she found a sleeping position that suited her and would just about fall asleep, then she’d start laughing and wake herself up. I couldn’t help but start laughing too, so we both sat there and tried to sleep, then start to laugh. She finally did fall to sleep, but much to my chagrin I found that the remote control was on my right side on the table and that was where Ashtyn was sleeping. Normally not a big deal, but the channel was stuck on ESPN2 and Soccer was on.

I’ll pretty much watch any sport on TV, up to and including, billiards, lacrosse, cricket and even that stupid dog show on Animal Planet with at least passing interest. I draw the line at Soccer. SOMEBODY PICK UP THE BALL AND THROW IT!!! SOMEONE MAKE A TACKLE!!! For the love of God, SOMEONE SWING A BAT!!!!!

I know some people love their Soccer and we’ve been told only about a million times since the 1970’s that we’re supposed to embrace the worlds sport, but it’s like watching a well executed 3 man weave in basketball for 90 minutes – athletic looking, but also boring after about 2 minutes. I need scoring, or at least the threat of it. They showed the highlights of some other game during one of the breaks and they showed 3 shots on goal. I thought, “Well, I suppose they only had time to show those 3 shots.” No….. those were the only 3 shots the entire GAME!! Mozambique 1 – Congo NIL.

It was the only time in my life that I wished the channel was on Lifetime or WE. Now that I think about it, Ashtyn was probably not sleeping at all, she was probably faking it and couldn’t hold back the laughter when she realized what she was making me watch.

She’s a chip off the ol’ block.

I know, I know......

It's been over a week since my last post and I was hoping to get some in, but the routine has been, eat, change diapers, give medicine and sleep when we can. Hopefully this week or weekend I'll be able to get something out there for an update and hopefully Ashtyn's ear infection is gone by then as well!!

A date with Daddy

After about 10 months Katie finally got a night off to go out with her friends for some fun and a couple adult beverages. Her friend Dena (and I guess my friend now too) is getting married at the end of July and tonight was their little bachlorette party thing.

Back in the day when I used to go out on the weekends, we were never very fond of the pre-wedding party groups coming through the bars because they would guilt you into buying some sucker or lifesaver off them for a $1 and trust me, if you give one of them $10 in the hopes that the rest will leave you alone it doesn't work. I've probably completely financed 3 to 4 weddings and a honeymoon over the years. I don't think they planned any of that kind of stuff tonight, so kudos to them and the 20 somethings that will still have a little money in their pockets at the end of the night.

You're probably all thinking, "well, who took care of the baby!?" I did! And to tell you the truth it's a little nerve wracking the first time out. Until she started taking a bottle a few days ago I was pretty much useless except to run and grab more diapers or wipe poopy butts.

It was kind of like the first time I umped a baseball game from behind the plate. You know you know what you're doing, but until you got the stick that first time you don't know if you can do it or not.

Ashtyn still has her little spats every now and then so I had resigned myself to the fact that we'd have a little episode somewhere along the way..... just not as soon as they had walked out the door. I ran through all my options, but none of them worked - I then made the fatal mistake of trying to give her an extra half ounce of formula before she was ready to go to sleep. A full stomach and a wide awake Ashtyn can be a bad combo at times so I figured since I needed to go mail some stuff we might as well take a car ride! If I can ever figure out how to package what a car ride does to little babies I'm going to patent it and retire.

After a quick tour through Lakewood and Marina Bay she was sound asleep and I was able to make my rounds with the final stop of the night being Taco Bell, cuz Ashtyn LOVES Taco Bell!! Wait..... maybe thats daddy that loves Taco Bell. She was awake by the time we got home, but just kinda hanging out and watching me eat my taco's, then she gave me a few short cries to let me know if was her taco in a bottle time.

This time I got the feeding right and she was finishing up her 4th ounce when sleepy time hit her so we rocked for an hour or so and now she's sound asleep in seat. Being a daddy is fun.

Big things in small packages and some white noise

For those of you that read my last post before the Bob Ross Memorial, congrats if you didn't fall asleep. But if you did make it through it, you'll remember that I said I can equate everything to either baseball or hunting.

Changing diapers can present several pitfalls and challenges that I've learned require the delicate handling of the situation. One wouldn't bear hunt with a BB gun and neither should one change a baby diaper without an understanding of anatomy - namely underestimating the power that can be generated by an 8 and 1/2 pound baby. I've learned to respect loaded guns and now I'm learning to respect baby's with full stomachs.

The following diagram show's the approximate danger zone of which if you are sitting in, could result in a change of clothes for both baby and you during a diaper change.

It's not that she doesn't give up clues about the impending danger. Like the Great Tiger in Mike Tyson's Punch Out with his flashing jewel on his turban, she will give a smile, grunt or a tense up to let you know that the dam is about to burst. It just took me awhile to read that. Granted, much of mine, Katies and Ashtyn's wardrobe has needed a quick trip to the washer to get to this point, but we are learning.

Another point to touch on tonight is the area of sleep. As most of you know, babies sleep a lot, but generally not when you'd like to sleep as well and sometimes not as soundly as you'd like either. So in order to get her to get the most out of her sleep I downloaded some "ocean wave" sounds to calm her and trust me, this stuff puts a person in knockout mode....... you sleep, well, like a baby!

The sounds that I downloaded included an occasional chirp of a seagull in it, which is what the ocean sounds like if you've ever sat on a beach and listened. The funny part is that I was sitting here blogging the other night and had the CD on for her while she slept and when the bird squawked - she would squawk too. After a few times of this happening I went back to listen and Katie was sitting up in bed wondering if she was hearing what I was hearing. Yep, Ashtyn in her sleep was subconsciously mimicking the sounds that she heard on the CD!!

So that pretty much confirmed for me that she's a musical genius and I can only begin to imagine what other areas she will score off the charts on. Ok, maybe it's a little early for that, but if she can make bird sounds this well....... DADDY HAS HIMSELF SOMEONE TO CALL IN TURKEYS FOR HIM!!!!!

Your "Bob Ross Memorial": Whiteboard pic of the month

It's early June and that can mean only one thing! The white board has a new pic.

The rocks didn't turn out quite as I had hoped, but oh well. The pic this month is quite apropos. With all the babies that have been born recently it seemed fitting that this month should be a poorly drawn Stork. Storks are kind of ugly and I would think they would scare the kids when they are dropping them off. At least they aren't as ugly as Sandhill Cranes...... that would really scare the babies.

The power of baseball

As most of you know, I can equate any situation in life to either:

A.) Baseball

or

B.) Hunting

Rocking gives you many hours to sit and think, which for me is probably a bad thing because I have a bit of a weird mind. Raising a newborn child though is somewhat like baseball. Here me out on this.

Back several years ago, when my knees didn't creak and my arm could still throw a baseball through something thicker than a wet paper towel, I was an ok catcher. Not a great one but a pretty good one. But I learned that in order for me to be successful as a catcher and stick in college or whatever that I'd have to be able to catch a good game because my .193 batting average wasn't going to keep me in the lineup.

I learned what pitches worked at what times and how to work them to my advantage,
the fastball on the outside corner that a hitter deposits over the right field fence, might be a pitch he swings and misses at in another at bat. It was just a matter of when you threw it. The same applies to lil Ashtyn.

Our living room looks like a garage sale waiting to happen right now with things we've tried at different points to get her to sleep and be calm - swings, car seats, bouncy chairs that vibrate. All of them work, it just depends on the order that you do them in. The swing is perfect when she's just in that mood where "I'm not quite asleep, but I could be if you gave me a reason to", any other time it's an annoyance and she lets you know. The bouncy chair that vibrates won't put her to sleep, but it will make her happy and content for and hour sometimes if you promise to bounce her while doing it.

Daddy's bouncy knee is the cure all when you need it. It's the baseball equivalent of the nasty slider - she's looking fastball down the middle and then here comes the bouncy knee (with or without the back pat) and the next thing you know she's content and ready to stare at you for 10 minutes like nothing was ever wrong.

Now all of these serve their purpose to entertain her, cuz seriously, when you can't walk, talk, or do more than roll 8 inches you're a bit dependant on others to take care of that for you. When it's late innings tho - say 11:00 and mommy and daddy are tired........ thats when we make the call to the bullpen. I call it the "Joe Nathan". It's the 9th inning hammer guaranteed to put little one out for a few hours.

She likes to eat around 9:00ish and then tries to stay awake as long as she can. Obviously she can't eat the whole time shes awake but if we get her about 3 ounces at feeding time, mix in some bouncy chair, maybe some bouncy knee and then turn the lights down - add a 1/2 ounce of milk and 1 ounce of mommy time an hour later and she's out like a light. It sounds like a bar shot, but it puts her to sleep like nobodies business....... The Joe Nathan.

I've also been meaning to mention a new friend of Ashtyn's in the blog, but since they had their own blog and I didn't want copywrite infingements to be levied against me I haven't brought him up. Colby Thompson was supposed to be born about a month after Ashtyn, but came about 80 days ago. There were some touchy moments and he spent some time in Fairview Hospital in Minneapolis, but we're happy to report that he came home yesterday! Yay for friends to play with when we go to Sherwood. Congrats to Steve, Heather and Colby!

More to come on Colby in future blogs.

As I write the end of this post, it's kind of prophetic. Joe Nathan of the Minnesota Twins is closing out a win vs. the Indians and "Joe Nathan" the sleepy time shot has just put Ashtyn to bed. Now we just gotta make sure neither of them starts blowing saves.

Ear Infection

So just when I said posts would be sporadic because of my lack of sleep, colic, etc., bam!! Another post.

Ashtyn got a little worse this morning and wouldn't stop her crying so Katie and her mom took her to the walk-in clinic. The Dr. there checked her out and said everything looked fine, but sent them to the Pediatrician at Medcenter to double check.

The Dr. there asked if they had checked her ears at the clinic and Katie said they had and they looked fine. Evidently a 'fine' ear looks similar to an ear with a serious ear infection. 2 antibiotic shots and some numbing drops later and little one was out like a light sleeping! Yay for sleep!!!

It was weird because she went from a little girl that enjoyed everything, including getting the baby booger picker in her nose to completely intolerant of everything overnight. Show of hands from any of you that had a baby that laughed while getting the baby booger picker stuck in their nose??

Thanks to everyone for the colic suggestions. I hope we don't need to use them in the future, but if we do, at least I'll know where to start.

Oh yeah, first funny story from Ashtyn. So we're in for her 2 week checkup on Tuesday and the Dr. is checking her out. She has Ashtyn on the table and she talking to us, but I know how the little spider monkey likes to move around, so I warned her that she might try to roll. Before the Dr. could say two more words, she'd flipped to her side and one more push had her on her back. I don't change her on anything but the floor for that very reason now.

Colic

This might be a loooooooong next 3 or 4 months kids. Looks like little one has the colic...... From the articles I read, it usually occurs in the early evening and the people that I talked to kind of confirmed that as well. Little one prefers the 10:00 to 2 a.m. shift.

There is also 3.98 million hits when you google 'colic'. I'm through article 47 and they all contradict each other on cure types. Google doesn't always find the answers.

If posts become more sporadic or more poorly written than usual, it's because I've fallen asleep and my head is laying on the keyboarddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd (oops, sorry about that).

Faithfully submitted this day,
May 29th, 2009 - 12:38 a.m.
Douglas C. Neidermeyer
Sgt. At Arms

Welcome to the Jungle

As a former foliage containment specialist for the better part of 15 years, there are few things that get my goat like an unmowed lawn. I honed my skills over many hours spent on the Sherwood Park, cemetary, baseball diamond and golf course and if noone can find a good thing to say about me, they can always say: "man, that Skeet.... he cut one hell of a lawn."

Take a look at this picture and tell me what it is. A jungle in Laos? A cattail slew? Maybe the reeds of the Everglades?

Take a closer look! Its the view off our patio!!

Katie had warned me about Spanky McGee's lawn care habits around the apt. complex, but I chose not to believe that someone could allow a lawn to get this out of control. At the current pace the lawn won't be mowed this summer. If he shows up in the next few day's it'll be on pace for 3 cuttings.

The worst part is that he brought in a lawn care company a week or so ago to fertilize the grass, which is kinda like wiping a baby's butt before they poop. It just don't make any sense! Why would one encourage the growth of grass they don't intend to ever cut??

Most of you with lawns have probably mowed, what? 3 or 4 times already this year? I may have to bestir myself to put on my civic minded cap and contact the City of Mandan on the problem. As things stand, if lil Ashtyn were able to crawl out the door we'd have to organize a search party once she hit the grassy area.

p.s. - if anyone wants to bale whats there you can probably get a half dozen idiot cubes or maybe a decent round bale out of it right now.

This can't be good......

Jason and Skeet as dads. Let the good times roll!!

Girlz just wanna haz fun

So Katies Grandma L stopped by the other day to see her newest Great-Granddaughter. She was pretty pumped about it and so was Ashtyn, or at least she woke up long enough to give everyone the stink eye. It's when she's just coming awake and she gives a little turn of the corner of her mouth, then barely opens one eye - the ol' stink eye.

Her Grandma also dropped off a kids CD of songs that she had gotten somewhere. It has all of your favorites sung by kids. Well, 5 of your favorites sung by kids I guess - "Beautiful Girls", "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun", etc. There is one song on there without a doubt is going to be her favorite and will be replayed over and over on road trips and this is a concern to daddy.

I'm going to lose half my audience here, but the other two people will follow me. The song is called "Hey There Delilah" and it was made 'famous' in the loosest sense of the word about a year or so ago by a band called the Plain White T's. I'm not sure if it's the timbre of their voices, possibly the note that it's keyed in, whatever..... it basically makes your head start nodding and then increasingly start banging off a brick wall. For those of you that have XM radio, you'll know it was played ad nauseum on every single music station they had for MONTHS. In fact, my dial didn't move off of XM 175 the Major League Baseball channel for fear that the song would be on somewhere.

It's a hideous song, but lil Ashtyn, if you wanna hear it, daddy will play it for you on the way to daycare or wherever. I may remind you later in life that daddy did this for you though.

In other news, the belt notch I tightened last week I had to loosen when Katies mom was here the last few days. Fresh homemade lasagna for lunches, Kneophla soup, meatballs, turkey and dumplings and such for supper. Very good, double the workouts to compensate.

Grandma and Papa Miller also made it down over the weekend, as did my brother Steve, his wife Brittany and their daughter Shaquille O'Neal. Yeah, she's not really Shaq, but she's only a year old and she DWARFS Ashtyn. It's not that she's any bigger than any other one year old, it's just that you get used to this tiny little 7.7lb baby and the size differential shocks you a little.

Also, some great news - Ashtyn has a new play partner. Ella Hazel Horner has entered the building!!! Jason and Kristy Horner gave birth at 12:01 a.m. this morning to the little girl. We stopped up to see her this evening and got some pics of the baby daddy's with their daughters. It was a little weird walking back into the Birthcenter at the hospital again. Katie may or may not have had flashbacks and a panic attack.

All is well with the Horners - congrats to them! Now I have someone to make comments in poor taste with when we take stroller rides through the zoo.

So. That should pretty much catch everyone up. We're the typical neurotic new parents now. Jump at every sound, when she's the least bit hot we wonder if she has a case of Malaria, when the temp fluctuates outside of a 71.8 to 72.6 degree range we rush to dress or undress her. We're learning though.

Chick Magnet

It’s fairly rare that I direct a blog post at specific groups or individuals, but there must be exceptions made at times. In order to protect the identity of the concerned parties, we’ll refer to the person of which I’m speaking to as “J-Rod” to keep his anonymity.

J-Rod, Ashtyn is a chick magnet, plain and simple. I think you could benefit in a certain milieu’s or social settings from having her around. In fact that goes for any readers that are guys and single.

It’s like she has the power of ‘the force’ or something. For example, last night we had to take her into the walk-in clinic to have them check her out for Jaundice. The three nurses and the doctor (all women) were all over her for the better part of 5 minutes – “she’s so cute”, “she’s just perfect.” I will take liberty to say that it takes good genes to produce cute babies so you know, it was kinda bound to happen.

Point being, when we left I wasn’t sure if they had checked her for anything or if it was just playtime for the clinic staff.

So fellas, if you feel like you could use a boost in the lady dept., just shoot me an e-mail or text and we’ll get you setup for a stroller ride along the running paths in Bismarck. She can break the ice for you, screwing it up from there is up to you. No woman is going to pass up a chance to stop and tickle this little girls cheeks. Think about it.

She's the rapper, I'm the DJ

Well, at around noon on Friday we left the hospital. Thats a bit of a scary proposition since we no longer have the red call button by the bed to summon a nurse when we have troubles feeding or whatever.

It's been a tag team effort to say the least since we've setup shop at home now. She's the rapper, I'm the DJ, she's the pitcher, I'm the catcher - I'm the Martin to her Lewis. She feeds, I burp, she treats the belly button, I lotion up the head scratch, she dresses, I get the poopy diapers.......

If it sounds like a crappy deal (pun intended), it's not that bad. She likes to throw a warning volley into the diaper to alert you to the pending danger and then once the baby wipe hits the bum: game on!! It's at that point you feel like an army field medic.

"I need a wipe, stat!! Somebody get rid of this blanket! It's getting all over the blanket! More wipes, more wipes!! We can't stop it! Theres just too much!"

In the end we're able to contain most of the damage, but it's a good thing most of our furniture is brown. Just a warning for those of you that come to visit.

I wanna video these episodes because I know for sure Ashtyn is grinning the whole time shes doing it. Yep, she's daddy's little girl!