This sedentary life

I'm fat. I'm fat and something needs to be done about it. Matt, Dion, Rixen, don't come knockin on my cube at 11:58 a.m. for awhile cause the winter has been rough on me. Pizza Ranch, A&B Pizza, The Truck Stop, Chinese, Bonanza Thursdays..... all of them have conspired to make me fat. For those of you not in the know on these eating establishments, they aren't what one would consider weight conscientious eating alternatives.

The worst part is that I run and lift more than I have in 6 months, but the 300 or 400 calories you burn doing that aren't enough to counteract the nacho platter that I've perfected at Bonanza over the years. Seriously, when you get to the point where you feel like pulling the restaurant manager to the side and giving him pointers on the layout of the food bar to minimize the time it takes me to get from the jalapenos to the nacho cheese to the black olives...... it's time to unstrap the feed bag. Throw on top of it all a couple of work weeks in Wisconsin next month, some site analysis visits in Gerogia or Texas or wherever in the next year and also the eminant arrival of little baby Skeet! It could turn into a sedentary life for me as far as working out is concerned.

Now we've had this contest for the last few years called the Fatty Fit Club where we get 8-10 guys in the office to throw in a dollar and see who can lose the most weight in a certain period of time, usually 8 weeks or so. This year we added a twist and anyone who gains weight week to week has to throw in a quarter. One year I even won the contest, but this year I'm in danger of weighing more at the end than I did at the start. To top things off I wasn't exactly svelte to begin with. Here is the scale that we use to weight ourselves every Monday.

It's a stupid scale. You step on it one time, 198.3, step on it again 202.4, third time and survey says!! 199.5!! Next week I'm going to step on the scale twice, parse out the numbers it reads, take them to the gas station and throw $5 down on a Powerball lottery ticket with them.

So all you waiter and waitress friends that I've met over the years, I hope to get to know you less in the coming months. Of course, per the rules of The Fatty Fit Club, I am still obligated to attend Bonanza Thursday, but my noon hours will now be spent more often at the Mandan Community Center getting re-acquainted with Cole, Roz and the crew. I may not win the $23.75 prize this year, but at least I won't be burping up mini corn bites and taco salad up at 2:30 in the afternoon either.

If your doing the math, 10 guys times $1 + .25 times the # of guys gaining weight each week shouldn't equal that much money........... I'm not the only fatty there.

For the record, the scale at gym has never had me over 200.